There is a line. A line we draw and say “thus far and no further.” That line is different for everyone.
Today, someone in my life drew that line and left an abusive relationship. I will not reveal more than that for their own safety.
So, for today’s post we are going to 1) signal boost where to get help. 2) discuss abusive behaviors. 3) rage, rage against abuse and give you ways to help.
Where to get help:
US: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.
Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to violence. And while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe. Emotionally abusive relationships can destroy your self-worth, lead to anxiety and depression, and make you feel helpless and alone. No one should have to endure this kind of pain—and your first step to breaking free is recognizing that your situation is abusive. Once you acknowledge the reality of the abusive situation, then you can get the help you need.
A quick checklist from the National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Look over the following questions. Think about how you are being treated and
how you treat your partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or
continually puts down the other person, it’s abuse.
Does your partner…
- Embarrass you with bad names and put-downs?
- Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
- Control what you do, who you see or talk to, or where you go?
- Stop you from seeing or talking to friends or family?
- Take your money or Social Security, make you ask for money or refuse to
give you money?
- Make all the decisions?
- Tell you you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
- Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
- Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
- Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
- Shove you, slap you or hit you?
- Force you to drop charges?
- Threaten to commit suicide?
- Threaten to kill you?
If you checked even one of these, you may be in an abusive relationship. If you
need help, call the Oklahoma Department of Mental Health and Substance
Abuse Services’ “Safeline” at 1-800-522-7233 or the National Domestic
Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
How you can help RIGHT NOW:
- Signal boost. Share the information in this post. Link to it. Copy it. Post it on your own blog. Facebook it. Tweet about it.
- Donate to your local women’s shelter.
- Volunteer at your local shelter.
- Donate to one of the organizations in the first section
- Send this post to someone who needs the checklist.
- Look around your home and consider if you have the ability to shelter a friend or a friend of a friend who’s escaping a situation. Think about what you would do. Make sure there’s a plan and maybe lay in an extra toothbrush and sundries, just in case.
It is my sincerest hope that you will never need this information. But if you do? Here is it. And here’s a virtual hug from me to you. You are heard. You are believed.